What's a Good Summit Without Keanu?

So, it's over huh?

A few thoughts, if I may...

• My prize for best exhibit: Greenpeace.

Subtle, well thought-out, nice execution, most of all- no destruction. I gotta wonder, however, how many folks sitting in traffic wouldn't have liked to have seen ol' Bob Duvall and the boys swoopin' down the Allegheny to help the danglers off the bridge?

When sunlight hit the sign just right, however, you could see the real message (Magnus Patris):

• Nice job keeping the malcontents out of the Downtown area. Pity the city didn't get a chance to showcase the barricades on the storefronts and the pretty banners on the unoccupied spaces. Bigger pity there was a need for so many banners. Nice windfall for the company(s) that came up with all the banners.
• As for the mob/police interaction: Fortunately, I think, it was less than of a problem than expected. After bringing in such a show of force, I think the "mob" underwhelmed law enforcement, initially, causing a certain sense of security and confidence (rightfully so). At the risk of offending all the nouveau-constitutional scholars out there, I think that the early harassment (messing with the food bus, hassling the lawful assemblers, etc), though purely chickenshit moves all, was necessary to set the bar a little higher than usual. Does that bus bus get hassled if it's parked them same way this Thursday, probably not. But it's all part of the game and all involved know how to play. I park my bus to tweak your nose, you cite my bus to punch me in the arm, I complain and bitch in the media,thereby getting the the issue and the ACLU before a judge, to give you a shove, you have the judge "maybe" bend the Constitution a little to shove me back, and it's on. Unfortunately, all the anti-climactic early skirmishes fed into the mess Friday night. If you take a bunch of people, with no intent other than creating chaos, and limit their chaos-making and mix them with a bunch of police, shipped in and dressed for preventing/putting down chaos, and limit their opportunity to use their neat-o toys, a mess is what you get. There is no bigger supporter of the police than I, but you didn't really think all the police and National Guard came from parts unknown just to do the tourist thing, did you?
• As for the rousers of the rabble: Where were you 2 weeks ago? Where will you be next week? Is there a tour schedule? Who do follow around, ala the Deadheads. I'd hate to think you've all gone to your establishment lives and your establishment jobs. You guys really aren't hypocrites roaming the countryside, spending mummsy and daddies corporate-earned money, looking for shit to break, are you? Just askin'.
• Now for the rabble: Please permit me to go into Keeanu Reeves mode for a moment.

As I asked above, where were you 2 weeks ago? Funny, but I didn't see any accounts of protesting in the streets of Oakland in the PG or the Trib or even the Pitt News. No stories of anyone protesting the military-industrial complex by breaking windows at that naval sandwich shop or that colonel's chicken joint. Where was your social conscience then? Surely, it wasn't just that things were getting boring at the O so you thought it would be a good idea to make some mischief. Was it? And then, to get angry when your hand got smacked? Really? And- about that hand- remember back when you was a wee tot and mommy told you not to touch the stove? Remember? No! Hot! How many times did you touch that stove? If your is answer is more than twice, you should return all your student loan money, cuz all that book-learnin' ain't gonna do you no good. The point is this: There's people in town to cause chaos, and the cops are ready. Probably this isn't your fight, due your lack of protesting history (see above). The cops are marching in the streets, the robocop truck is blaring "stay the eff off the streets or bad things might happen", the Pitt Admin is texting "stay the hell in your dorms for it may not be safe outside, youngsters". And, you, our brightest of the bright, our leaders of tomorrow, our hope for the future, TOUCH THE GODDAMNED STOVE!!! And then, naturally, you bitch and whine all over the media and, more naturally, post all over Youtube. Grandma called it a life lesson kids.

All in all, it coulda been alot worse. Nice job, Pittsburgh.

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Nice continuing coverage by Infinonymous. Check out the wrap up here.

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Related personal note:

To the Boy Mayor: As you are aware, since you are no doubt among the literally tens of people that read this little public display of written drivel, I am currently an avid player of the Incarceration!: Home Edition game. From time to time there are away games. The last away game was played to benefit the Esplen section of Pittsburgh (for your benefit, see map here). We were told this was being done in preparation for the G20 Summit. I even got a nifty t-shirt that says so. But the Esplen part of the trip was missed by the whole media. What gives? Esplen is a perfect example of Pittsburgh stepping into the future and way from the past. I'm just sayin'.

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Further personal, though unrelated, note:

This week's picks: clev +13.5, nyg -7, nyj -2.5, ne-4, det +6.5, den +1.5

Last week 3-3, Season 5-7

Please feel free to jump on the gravy train. I don't wanna keep all of this sheer sports genius to myself. Just givin' back. It's what I do.

Random Acts of Depraviosity

Just a little something till I can get my G20 thoughts together...

From Stamford, Connecticut:

Connecticut Karaoke Assault

"According to a police press release, the six arrestees made "derogatory comments about the other female's singing ability (or lack thereof) and then repeatedly punched, kicked and pulled the hair of the victim before leaving the bar." Alcantara, who suffered a chipped tooth and was left with numerous bruises, was treated at a local hospital."

1. Who hasn't wanted to do that? C'mon be honest.
2. Looks like they grow their 19 & 20 year olds pretty thugalicious in ol'Stamford.

Dumbells with dumbells in Costa Mesa, California:

"In an ill-conceived attempt to increase the size of his member, a man placed his penis through the "hole of a steel, ring-shaped dumbbell weight fastener," according to the Daily Pilot. The fasteners are used to secure weight plates on dumbbell bars."

""They said his comment was, 'This will make me the chief of my tribe,'" Costa Mesa Battalion Chief Scott Broussard told the Pilot."

"They also slid a little piece of metal between the collar and his thing, so if it slipped past it wouldn’t hit his thing," Broussard told the Pilot."

Chief of my tribe????

And, finally, from Philly.com:

Animal-cruelty charges dropped against Burlington County cop

"During a bizarre hearing there yesterday, a Superior Court judge dismissed animal-cruelty charges against a Moorestown police officer accused of sticking his penis into the mouths of five calves in rural Southampton in 2006, claiming a grand jury couldn't infer whether the cows had been "tormented" or "puzzled" by the situation or even irritated that they'd been duped out of a meal."

""If the cow had the cognitive ability to form thought and speak, would it say, 'Where's the milk? I'm not getting any milk,' " Judge James J. Morley asked.

"I think any reasonable juror could infer that a man's penis in the mouth of a calf is torment," Morgan argued. "It's a crime against nature."

And

"I'm not saying it's OK," Morley said. "This is a legal question for me. It's not a questions of morals. It's not a question of hygiene. It's not a question of how people should conduct themselves."

WTF?

If We Build It...

I was just reading the latest from The Carbolic Smoke Ball (those guys are geniuses):

Pittsburgh Replaces Locals With Cardboard Figures For G-20

and it hit me- why stop at the people? WTF are you talking about you ask? Why, only the solution to the Pittsburgh-getting-destroyed-during-the-G20-Summit problem. Two words.... BLAZING- F'ING- SADDLES!!!

The fake Rock Ridge in Agua Dulce (as opposed to the real Rock Ridge, which was on the Warner Bros. lot in Burbank).

Hope this helps.

Leftovers Edition

Cleanin' up the scraps...

• G20: I can't wait for this all to be over. I'm still not sure why it's coming. " Our time to shine to the rest of the world, we're not all smoky and sooty, our economy turned around from the steel days, blah blah blah blah". Part of me thinks this is so much ado about nothing, kind of a cross between a Grateful Dead tour and the Y2K "it might be a mess!". However, lots of imported police, National Guard, and shiny new gear and training tells me probably not. I certainly hope the Boy Mayor and Dan the Man didn't screw the pooch by not saying "thanks but, no thanks". But, who's gonna pay for this hasn't been answered. The Police Chief in Scott Township certainly had the right idea. Probably best to keep your head down and stay out of town for a while.

• Racists, Competitors or Jerks?: Do you mean to tell me that a tennis player, a politician and an "entertainer" acting rudely in the same month is a signal of the the fall of Western Culture? Paaa-f'ng-leeez! Serena Williams? 2 words- John McEnroe. Two more- Jimmy Connors. 2 more- Ille Nastase. Hey folks, players have been yelling at and berating officials for years. Get a life. Rep. Joe Wilson- you think that was bad? I suggest you spend some time watching the Brits on C-SPAN some time. That was probably an "I'll do it if you do it too" thing. At the last minute, the other kids backed out and Lil' Joey got punk'd. Kanye West- Why all the hand-wringing and overthinking? Why can't it just be he's a boozed-up douchebag and leave it at that?

In other words....

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I went 2-4 in the football pool at work last week. You're welcome to all those who decided to bet the kiddo's college fund. Let's help that mortgage this week. This weeks picks: New Orleans +1/2, Washington -10, San Francisco -1 1/2, Minnesota -10, Tennessee -7, Cleveland +3.
Guaranteed picks. Maybe not winners, but picks just the same.

"So, how are you? Has life been good to you? Are you still in Pgh? So, many questions.... many years to catch up on! "

I received that in my inbox the other day. It came from a friend I haven't seen or spoken to in a looooong time. I guess we're still friends since not even I have managed to find a way to piss someone off on the other side of the country.

Certainly good questions. So I started to think about the answers."How are you? Has life been good to you?"

Let's review....

I guess, at the end of the day, I'm OK. Maybe not as well as you there and probably better than some of you over there. But I'm OK. I've had ups and I've had downs and, luckily, it seems that the ups have outnumbered.

Maybe not as good as I thought it would be or wanted it to be. But still good. Maybe not as good you over there. But, again, probably better than some of you way over there.

For better or worse, I've done most of things I thought I would, and I've done alot of things I never dreamed I would.

Marriage? Check. Divorce (I guess that's part of life)? Check. Marriage(huh? Again? Really?)? Check. Divorce (oh shit)? Check.

Kids? Check. Managed to maintain a healthy relationship with them or foul it up, not unlike your childhood? Jury's still out on that one.

Growing up, I wanted to gain a working knowledge of the inner workings of the legal system, perhaps pursuing it as a career path. Unfortunately, the knowledge I gained involved handcuffs, lawyers and judges.

Somehow, through everything, I've managed to stay gainfully employed (even self-employed for a time). Given the state of the economy, I guess that was an accomplishment. Faint praise.

All that being said, I'm OK. I've learned from every experience, albeit sometimes slowly. I've learned that, for better or worse, I'm an envelope pusher. I have a need to find the edge of the table and I need to see how close to that edge I can get without falling off. It's not right, it's not wrong. It just is.

The bottom line is... I've been a hero and I've been a heel. I've been a star and I've been just a face in the crowd.I have challenged and have been challenged. All in all, I've been human. Life's been OK and...

I'm OK.

How've you been?

Holy Shit It's a WTF Friday

A U.S. Coast Guard boat is seen on the Potomac River in Washington, Friday, Sept. 11, 2009. The Coast Guard was conducting a training exercise in the Potomac River moments before President Barack Obama crossed a nearby bridge for a Sept. 11 commemoration. (AP Photo/Haraz N. Ghanbari)

• So, someone in Washington thought it would be a good idea for the Coast Guard to hold training exercises on the Potomac River while President Saviour was at the Pentagon commemorating the 9/11 attacks and a group of victims families gathered less than a mile away to mourn?

WTF?

White House press secretary Robert Gibbs on Friday morning said he was not aware of any heads-up given by the U.S. Coast Guard to the White House about its training exercise in the Potomac River this morning, as President Obama was at the Pentagon commemorating the 9/11 attacks, and he suggested that any panic that resulted from the reporting of the event was the fault of false reports by the media, not law enforcement.

No heads up given? I have to believe that, even if done secretly, the National Danger Alert Color (or whatever they're calling it today) was escalated to some super-secret magenta or maybe a lovely ripe banana yellow on the anniversary of 9/11 and I would hope that the folks responsible for the safety of such a high-value target would've known about some boats with guns on the river, even if they were friendly.

Shortly after 10 am, many media outlets, led by CNN, falsely reported that shots had been fired. As first reported by ABC News' Lisa Stark, flights leaving Reagan National Airport were delayed. CNN later retracted the report. "If anyone was unnecessarily alarmed based on erroneous reporting that denoted shots had been fired, I think everybody is apologetic of that," Gibbs said.

Shots fired at a military, er , I mean law-enforcement training exercise? I'm shocked! And then to have the damned media report it? The nerve!! Sounds to me like someones "oh shit alarm" went off and then the media was shown the error in their ways. God knows no one wants a repeat of the hoopla over Air Force One buzzing Manhattan for a photo-op.

The group Military Families United said in a statement that the "training exercise conducted by the Coast Guard is at the height of irresponsibility. Whomever commissioned this training exercise at the same time and less than a mile away from where the families of the 9/11 victims gathered to mourn should be held accountable. Their actions brought back all of the feelings for victims of 9/11 that they originally experienced 8 years ago today. These families have traveled from all over the country to convene at the Pentagon on this tragic anniversary and this training exercise not only caused unwarranted stress for these families but it was a distraction from the purpose of today."

Nice dream there. All the blame being put on the media sounds alot like so much ass-coverin'.

The White House spokesman said the Commander-in-Chief would not "micromanage" the Coast Guard's decision to hold the exercise, and he chastised the press -- in honor of those who died on 9/11 and the future victims of terrorrism -- telling reporters to tell themselves "We may not get this first, but we may be the first ones to get it right." Asked if 9/11 was an appropriate day for such a training exercise, Gibbs said, "I tend not to question law enforcement trying to keep the nation safe." He said media should "check before reporting" such events, and suggested other training exercises are likely going on right now that we don't know about..."

The Micromanager-in-Chief picks today to loosen up on the reigns and the media messed everything up. And, of course there's training going on that "we" don't know about. That's a good thing. That is, unless by "we" Gibbs means the President and his "team". Then that's a real concern.

• How did I miss this? Rodney King vs the police: round two

The last time Rodney King was beaten up by the police, Los Angeles experienced appalling race riots in which 53 people were killed, more than 2,000 injured, and a billion dollars-worth of damage caused by the city's outraged black community. Seventeen years, a criminal trial and a $3m legal settlement later, King has put himself back in harm's way, agreeing to go toe-to-toe with a notoriously aggressive cop through the colourful medium of celebrity boxing. America's most famous living victim of police brutality last night stepped into a ring with one Simon Aouad, who was thrown out of Philadelphia's police force because, in his own words, he "couldn't follow the rules".

You can't make this shit up. And at only $25 pay-per-view- a bargain at twice the price.

Now 43, King recently appeared in the cable TV shows, Sober House and Dr Drew's Celebrity Rehab, undergoing treatment for the alcoholism that led to his original arrest in 1991. He now claims to have been "clean" for 14 months.

Reality TV will be the end of Western Civilization. And, Rodney, knowing a few alcoholics as I do, I feel comfortable telling you that that ass whuppin' you took in LA had nothing to with alcohol. I'm thinkin' something powdery. Check the video.

Aouad, for his part, decided to fight under the nickname "The Renegade". The 31-year-old achieved fame in 2006 when he was thrown out of the police force for following a "shoot first, ask questions later" policy with regard to an intruder on his property.

A Philly cop that "shoots first..." is a renegade? Mind boggling.

• Looks like ACORN didn't know that home loans can't be used for brothels.
• Police: Male Suspect Raped Wheelchair-Bound Man

While being led into a police cruiser with a sweatshirt over his head, Parks said to reporters: "Find yourself some real crime to deal with."

And finally, something local.....

• Man with shotgun robs golfers on putting green

A man with a shotgun robbed a foursome as they were putting on a Fayette County golf course. State police said the four men were on a green at the Linden Hall course in Tyrone when a man wearing a mask and holding a shotgun approached them from the woods around 4:50 p.m. yesterday.

Masked and a shotgun and casing a golf course? Probably no drugs involved at all.

He ordered the golfers to the ground and told them to empty their pockets. He pushed one of them, sparking a struggle in which the golfer was struck on both sides of the face with the gun. The victim then gave up his money clip with about $80. Police said they later found the suspect, Cade Stevens, 25, of Dawson. He was in jail on $50,000 straight bond.

Obviously young Cade has some issues and macho man decides to take a shotgun-whipping before he gives up the money clip? Dumbass. And $50k straight bond? Holy shit.

UPDATE.... Man who robbed golfers hangs himself in jail

Obviously some issues.

We Will Not Forget

Today's Sermon

Note: The following is reprinted from the Guest Viewpoint column in the The Signal Item (September 10, 2009). It was written by Mark Hammad.

Sadly, we have become a nation of victims

Over the course of this recession, I have become alarmed at a dangerous trend. We have become a nation of victims, quick to elicit sympathy from whoever will lend an ear.

There is no shortage of news reporters and bloggers hunting for the next "victim" and the next scoop.

There seems to be no shortage of victims lately: foreclosure victims, health care victims, and consumers victimized by their own debt.

This is confusing to me, given that America is the wealthiest nation in the world and there seems to be no shortage of opportunity for those willing to work for it.

Relegating ourselves to become a nation of victims flies in the face of the personal independence and entrepreneurial spirit that this country was founded upon.

Our founding fathers had a strong sense of sovereignty, rooted in their belief that individuals should carry themselves with the same independence and freedom.

We all need to practice more personal responsibility and take steps to ensure that we carry our burden and contribute to our communities instead of siphoning from them.

All too often, victims can find comfort in our government and our elected officials, who relish in positioning themselves as champions of the weak.

Our government and our elected officials have listened and delivered, ensuring that we cannot become victims again.

The favored method is the Congressional hearing, guaranteeing our elected officials face time as champions of the new cause.

• Credit card companies charging too much- that's a Congressional hearing.
• Lead in your child's toys- a Congressional hearing.
• Plane stuck on the tarmac for nine hours- a Congressional hearing.

We do not hesitate to give our government the power to act on our behalf in situations like these, failing to realize that as consumers, we hold more power collectively to influence change in these situations than Congress does.

Consumer spending accounts for roughly 70 percent of the American economy, yet we often do not exercise our power to "vote with our pocketbooks."

If you don't like credit card companies charging you fees and interest, don't use their products; if you don't want lead in your children's toys, don't buy from manufacturers that utilize Chinese-made toys.

Our elected officials have found the perfect prescription for our "victims"- government spending. Congress has taken action to "protect" us from foreclosures, global warming, credit card companies, and are now debating protecting our health.

However, this has all come at a cost, and the one thing our elected officials at every level (federal, state, and local) have failed to protect is the taxpayer's checkbook.

Our crushing national debt and annual deficit is almost unfathomable, in the trillions of dollars and climbing. We are always quick to criticize wasteful government spending, but even quicker to feed at the same trough (i.e. Cash for Clunkers), failing to realize that our actions embolden and confirm in the minds of our elected officials that what they are doing is right.

Like any strong prescription, government spending and debt can have dreaded side effects.

We face many challenges today as a nation, and it is clear that there exist no simple solutions to complex problems and that neither Democrats nor Republicans hold the key to solving problems.

Further, it is clear that we cannot sit back and expect our elected officials to hand us a mandate or solution to our problems.

The health care debate is far from over, and no matter which side of the fence you sit on, we must recognize the burdens we are obligated to carry and the burdens we ask others to carry for us.

We need to balance how much responsibility we give to our government and how much responsibility we are willing to bear.

If we fail to live up to our responsibilities, the government will assume them for us, ensuring that they are met.

It is clear that we all need to step up and take responsibility for ourselves and our actions. Is it too much to ask of one to live within their means and pay all financial obligations on is bound to?

Is it too much to ask of one to pay for an annual health screening or prescription, or do we demand that our insurance cover these costs?

Perhaps it is fitting that car insurance does not cover gas, oil changes, tires, or any other regular maintenance items. Or perhaps, it's time that we demand a Congressional hearing to mandate that car insurance companies provide for basic maintenance.

It's up to you America.

Amen Brother- IKNAB