Happy Halloween

For your holiday listening pleasure....

From The Mailbag...

From today's mail. First, in the snail mail (breaks into a jaunty little tune)

(Elton John/Bernie Taupin)
You could never know what it's like
Your blood like winter freezes just like ice
And there's a cold lonely light that shines from you
You'll wind up like the wreck you hide
behind that mask you use

And did you think this fool could never win
Well look at me, I'm coming back again
I got a taste of love in a simple way
And if you need to know while I'm still standing
you just fade away

Don't you know I'm still standing
better than I ever did
Looking like a true survivor,
feeling like a little kid
I'm still standing
after all this time
Picking up the pieces of my life
without you on my mind

I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah
I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah

Once I never could hope to win
You starting down the road leaving me again
The threats you made were meant to cut me down
And if our love was just a circus you'd be a clown by now

Oh, where was I?

Oh, yeah, never mind. More on that later.

Then, I log into my email and find this in my spam box:

char90percent

If you are not white dont bother if you are not over the age of 35 dont bother,One other thing you MUST have a JOB of some kind I dont need nor do I want a lazy ass mofo. I am very single, I'm 39yrs old or young, I'm here to find the one for me so if your into CHEATING on your wife dont bother me cause i dont want to share the one I'M with. With anyone else I am a one MAN WOMAN. I"ve lived here in Piitsburgh for about 7yrs now, I have no kids, would someday like to have some or at least one. I was Born and Raised In the state of Calif. the city of SAN Diego. If you want to know more just ASK. You can find me in the PA chat room.

If you're an employed, white, over 35 non-lazy unattached mofo, let me know. Have I got a catch for you.

Just Sayin'

Another Baby Step For The Commonwealth

Licenses to sell beer awarded to two Giant Eagle stores: Robinson, South Strabane

This a sure sign that the End Times are upon us. The Pennsylvania Liquor Control Board voted, unanimously (that's 3-0 y'all), to approve restaurant liquor license transfers to 2 (count 'em 2) local Giant Eagle stores. Another small step toward the light that is - the 20th century.

Truly remarkable progress for the home of one of the 75 Best People to trust with your puppy.

Giant Eagle has secured the Pittsburgh area's first two licenses to sell beer inside supermarkets — one for its Market District store to open Nov. 5 at the new Settlers Ridge complex in Robinson, and the other for a store in South Strabane.

"We are very eager to start beer sales," Giant Eagle spokesman Rob Borella said yesterday, adding the chain's customers in neighboring states that allow sales in supermarkets like the convenience.

(Ya know Pa, I hear tell them other states sell sliced bread and milk that comes in a jug. Is it true Pa? Is it really true? What did they do with the cow, Pa?)

As we've covered before, this makes our friends at the Philadelphia-based Malt Beverage Distributors Association none too happy.

"We expected that the licenses would be approved, just like the Wegmans and other licenses were," said Mary Lou Hogan, the association's executive director. Beer distributors contend that Pennsylvania's liquor laws don't allow sales of beer in supermarkets, even if it's kept in areas separated from the groceries. The test could come next spring, when the state Supreme Court is expected to consider the group's challenge to Wegmans' licenses.

Peggy Alston, whose family has operated Pike Beverage Outlet for 22 years, expects to lose some business, especially from out-of-state visitors who stay at nearby hotels and are used to buying beer in supermarkets. "What are we going to do about it?" she said, referring to the LCB vote. "It's still in the court, we are still upset, and it's still unfair."

While I understand Ms. Alston's concern with some business from "out-of-state visitors who stay at nearby hotels and are used to buying beer in supermarkets" crowd, I seriously doubt that the 2 six-pack carryout rule will affect her more than the 8 gazillion other bars and restaurants in the Robinson/North Fayette area already have.

("No honey," he said to his out-of-towner-nearby-hotel-stayin wife, "let's not go out to one of those nice bars or restaurants tonight. After all, 8 gazillion is just too many to choose from. Let's just get a pizza and a case of Natty Light and watch HBO tonight.")

While there is no bigger fan of progress and convenience (and yes, BEER) than I, I'm afraid that the biggest point is being missed in this whole debate.

Ready?

Here it comes...

The two-level restaurant at the front of the store will be accessible from a patio, and from inside, the company said.. Everyone buying beer will be carded at four registers inside the restaurant, and food can be ordered. Up to 250 varieties of beer and other malt beverages will be stocked, with a focus on microbrews and premium brands, Borella said.

I think that bears repeating (emphasis added)-

...blah, blah, blah "Up to 250 varieties of beer and other malt beverages will be stocked..."

As I've said before, I seem to spend an ungodly amount of time at my local Iggle. I don't think I've counted 250 varieties of canned vegetables, for crying out loud.

Bottom line: This grocery store is just another reason why the the rest of the world hates us. It's not our Democracy. It's not the 2 SUVs in the our garage. Hell, it's not even that we have used our massive technology to produce a Bacon Cheeseburger on Buttered Krispy Kreme Donuts.

It is the fact that we need a grocery store with a 2 f'ing level restaurant that seats 200 people (all drinking a different beer if they wanna). It is the fact that that we need a grocery store with both a cooking school and 400 different cheeses. But most of all, it is the fact that, in this world where half the people hated Bush and half the people hate Obama, where half the people hate al Qaeda and half the people hate the CIA, where half the people hate the New England Belicheats and the other half hates da Stillers (they do?) , the reason the rest of world hates this great country is that we need, and therefore we have a grocery store featuring (for a limited time only, I'm sure)..... "The Cheese Lady," artist Sarah Kaufmann, who carves the Pittsburgh skyline from a 1,000 lb. block of mammoth Wisconsin Cheddar.

Screw the End Times. I'm going to the store.

Vive le Commonwealth!

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THIS JUST IN......Amelia Earhart: ALIVE!

Take Two Asspern and Shaddup

Excellent piece in yesterday's PG:

Sunday Forum: Suck it up, America

We have become a nation of whining hypochondriacs, and the only way to fix a broken health-care system is for all of us to get a grip, says DR. THOMAS A. DOYLE

It's obvious to me that despite all the furor and rancor, what is being debated in Washington currently is not health-care reform. It's only health-care insurance reform. It addresses the undeniably important issues of who is going to pay and how, but completely misses the point of why.

And

In a single night I had patients come in to our emergency department, most brought by ambulance, for the following complaints: I smoked marijuana and got dizzy; I got stung by a bee and it hurts; I got drunk and have a hangover; I sat out in the sun and got sunburn; I ate Mexican food and threw up; I picked my nose and it bled, but now it stopped; I just had sex and want to know if I'm pregnant.

And

At a time when we have an unprecedented obsession with health (Dr. Oz, "The Doctors," Oprah and a host of daytime talk shows make the smallest issues seem like apocalyptic pandemics) we have substandard national wellness. This is largely because the media focuses on the exotic and the sensational and ignores the mundane.

And

Our society has warped our perception of true risk. We are taught to fear vaccinations, mold, shark attacks, airplanes and breast implants when we really should worry about smoking, drug abuse, obesity, cars and basic hygiene. If you go by pharmaceutical advertisement budgets, our most critical health needs are to have sex and fall asleep. Somehow we have developed an expectation that our health should always be perfect, and if it isn't, there should be a pill to fix it. With every ache and sniffle we run to the doctor or purchase useless quackery such as the dietary supplement Airborne or homeopathic cures (to the tune of tens of billions of dollars a year). We demand unnecessary diagnostic testing, narcotics for bruises and sprains, antibiotics for our viruses (which do absolutely no good). And due to time constraints on physicians, fear of lawsuits and the pressure to keep patients satisfied, we usually get them.

Or

The human body is exquisitely talented at healing. If bodies didn't heal by themselves, we'd be up the creek. Even in an intensive care unit, with our most advanced techniques applied, all we're really doing is optimizing the conditions under which natural healing can occur. We give oxygen and fluids in the right proportions, raise or lower the blood pressure as needed and allow the natural healing mechanisms time to do their work. It's as if you could put your car in the service garage, make sure you give it plenty of gas, oil and brake fluid and that transmission should fix itself in no time.

Dr. Thomas A. Doyle is a specialist in emergency medicine who practices in Sewickley (tomdoy@aol.com). This is an excerpt from a book he is writing called "Suck It Up, America: The Tough Choices Needed for Real Health-Care Reform."

Let me see if I understand this. Is the good doctor suggesting that the health care system is being misused? That changes in our own personal conduct can have a direct effect on our health and, by extension, the cost of health care in this country? That responsibility and common sense can affect change than can never be legislated? Really?

Common sense driven responsibility- what a concept.

WANTED

Burglar Steals 2-Year-Old Cancer Patient’s Donations

What kind of a lowlife douchebag steals money intended for a 2 year old with cancer?
I've known this little boy's father for years and hope and prayers go out to Little Ethan and his family.
If you are interested in making a donation to help Ethan and his family, please go to any PNC branch and donate to the Ethan Loney Fund.
Donations are also accepted at:

Ethan Loney Trust Fund

Dollar Bank

PO Box 765

Pittsburgh, PA 15230-0765

If you have any information about this theft, please contact Crafton PD.
Finally, to the lowlife douchebag: feel free to email me at the link in my profile. Let's get together so I can "enlighten" you as to the error in your ways. Please.

When You Find Yourself In A Hole, Quit Digging

Gateway station to shut down for 2 years

Tee hee hee hee

The Gateway Center subway station will close for two years at the end of the month to accommodate construction of the Port Authority's $538.8 million North Shore Connector project.

Heh Heh Heh

Port Authority yesterday also announced that the intersection of Liberty Avenue and Stanwix Street will close Oct. 20 for a year to make way for construction. At the same time, one lane of Penn Avenue will reopen through Stanwix Street. Currently, Penn Avenue is closed to through traffic from Sixth Street to Stanwix.

Ha Ha Ha Ha

The North Shore Connector is a 1.2-mile subway extension through twin tunnels under the Allegheny River to new stations at PNC Park and Heinz Field. It is now scheduled for completion at the end of 2011, when a new, bigger Gateway Center station also will debut.

The authority's original construction plan kept Gateway Center open, but overruns forced several cost-cutting measures, including the decision to close the station to minimize contractor expense.

BWA HA HA HA HA HA

What Would the Chief Say?

From PSAMP

"This is officially the most of Casey we've seen, even without the head and lower body. And I think it's safe to assume that this is more of our massive nose tackle than we've ever hoped to take in. A little too much hip/thigh/groin for me, even though very little of it is shown."

First "Raw"-thlisberger (or do you prefer De-"Ben"-eration X) is on 'rasslin, now this?

The Steeler organization in general, and the Rooney family in particular are clearly much brighter than I when it comes to the whole football business thing, but is this REEEAAAALLLY a good idea?

There are those that worried about the reaction to the WWE appearance after a loss to San Diego. Personally, I'm now worried about what happens should the Black and Gold lose to Detroit.

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In the pool this week:

Dall -8.5, SF -2.5, NE -3, Ind -4, Hou +5.5, Jax +.5

Just askin'-

1. Is anyone comfortable with da Stillers givin' more than 10 to anyone at this point? Even Detroit?

2. If da Raida-s are indeed 16 worse than the New York Football Giants, do you think they could beat the Pirates?

The National Tragedy* Continues

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*Sarcasm : Sarcasm refers to a humor that is at once cutting and bold in both in a mocking fashion. Sarcastic humor would never be described as gentle or endearing, but rather as caustic and bitter, describing situations, persons, or things in a derogatory way in order to be funny. Appropriately, the derivations for this brutal form of wit come from the Latin 'sarcasmus," which stems from the Greek "sarkasmos" and "sarkazein" which means literally "to bite the lips in rage."

A Song for Fredo

WHEW!!!! That was Close!

Ben Roethlisberger celebrates his first touchdown against the Chargers tonight at Heinz Field.(Matt Freed/ Post-Gazette)

Steelers beat Chargers, 38-28

Steelers narrowly avoid late implosion

Avoiding 100 losses a small triumph for Bucs

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And the hits keep coming- 4-2 in the pool this week (who the fuck woke up Jacksonville?). 14-10 on the season. Woo hoo!

NFL Breast Cancer Awareness Sunday

The NFL is proud to support the fight against breast cancer

Throughout October, NFL games will feature players, coaches and referees wearing pink game apparel to raise awareness for the campaign, as well as on-field pink ribbon stencils and special K-balls and pink coins. All apparel worn at games by players and coaches and special K-balls and pink coins will auctioned off at NFL Auction (www.NFLAuction.NFL.com), with proceeds benefitting the American Cancer Society and team charities. This is an issue that has directly touched the lives of so many in the NFL family, and we are committed to helping make a difference in breast-cancer prevention.

Steelers take the NFL's campaign for breast cancer awareness

Shiny, florescent-pink-trimmed football shoes with silver cleats sit in the next locker for his buddy Hines Ward to wear tonight. Similarly toned shoes, most of them completely pink with white or black trim, also will be worn by Steelers teammates Ben Roethlisberger, Santonio Holmes, Ryan Clark, Lawrence Timmons, Willie Gay and a host of other players around the National Football League. Many Steelers also will wear pink gloves and wristbands for their 8:20 p.m. game against San Diego in Heinz Field. Ribbon pins and white-and-black Steelers ballcaps with pink-lined bills will be donned by coaches along the home sideline.

And from Steelers.com...

Hope and prayers go out to all those affected by not only breast cancer but all forms of this dreaded disease.

You have to wonder just how much time and money it will take to find a cure. Obviously, it is just a matter of time and money.

Increasingly, however, comes the need to be more and more creative in how you get your cause to the front of the the public's conscience to get your share of the dwindling donation dollar.

Case in point: Along with the Susan G. Komen for the Cure, arguably the most well-known charitable cause is the MDA and its major fundraising effort- the Jerry Lewis Telethon.

Over the years, the Labor Day telethon alone has raised nearly $1.6 Billion but, admit it, when you think of Muscular Dystrophy you think of Jerry Lewis, not necessarily his "kids"

Well known. Hard working. Some would say cultural icon. He's been doing the telethon thing for decades and his contribution cannot be understated. However, the man is in his eighties. What to do when the man cannot carry on the good fight? How do you keep the cause in the public's mind? Advertising. I believe this is where it may be time to think outside the box. Take, for instance, this ad from Rethink Breast Cancer , a Canadian cancer awareness group, to support it's fundraising event- Boobyball.

Or perhaps this ad from the folks at Yoplait:

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The point, sophomoric examples aside, is this: in these days when health and healthcare is on the tip of everyone's mind, it's important to remember your favorite cause year-round, not just on designated "awareness months" or traditional holiday times. And, to that end, some charities need to be more creative in getting the message across to achieve funding in order to defeat these diseases.

I think.

Steeler Football: Troubling, Just Troubling

Troubling, just troubling. Via PSAMP:

• From Mondesi's House: Yes, Ben Roethlisberger Will Host WWE RAW

And for extra theatrics, he will be flanked by his entire offensive line, which will be trying to successfully block someone for the first time this year.
And
One thing I know for sure: I don't even want to think about a world in which they lose to San Diego, hold a 1-3 record, and follow that with a scripted wrestling appearance by a half-dozen of their players. It may get uglier than the G-20 protests in Pittsburgh.
Scary thought, indeed.
I was going to jot something down, earlier this week, to this effect...
"blah, blah, blah... Though I don't necessarily agree with President Savior's policies and politics, I must thank him for one thing- since his arrival on the national political scene, not only has the Rev. Jesse Jackson all but become invisible, but the Rev. Al Sharpton is becoming more and more irrelevant. This seems to be borne out by Sharpton's hosting of WWE RAW. What could possibly better signify comic book irrelevance than hosting RAW blah, blah, blah...."
I had all the facts and figures and comebacks ready for the attacks from the "You Redneck, Racist, Right-Wing Bastard!" crowd, but now with the Roethlisberger announcement, do I tempt the wrath of Stiller Nation by using "Roethlisberger", "(truly)Offensive Line", and "comic book irrelevance" in the same sentence? Well, like they say, I may have been born during the day....., troubling, just troubling.

• Willie "Pink Shoes" Parker- Pink shoes for a good cause, to be sure, but the pink toe inside the shoe is troubling, just troubling. Welcome back, Carey Davis.
• Troy Polamalu- With all due respect, Troy is probably the best safety in the league, but, if missing one player can make as much of a difference to a defending Super Bowl Champion, as it appears Troy's has, methinks something else is afoot. Complacency, anyone? Troubling, just troubling.
• Casey Hampton nekkid- Hey ESPN The Magazine- WTF???? Troub,er, GROSS JUST GROSS.

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For the football pool last week- 5 WINS, 1 LOSS (55% for the season). I'm a genius I tell ya'. Hey Cleveland, you can't find a way to stay within 2 effin' touchdowns????? It's official- you do truly suck.
This week for all you smart bandwagon jumpers....
Hou -9.5, Tenn -3, Dal -3, NO -6.5, NYG -9, Ind -6.5
Come to poppa, golden goose.

G20: Sometimes Cheap Laughs Are The Best

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Pittsburgh Irates
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Health Care Crisis

• Pittsburgh Irates: NICE
• At 2:23- "Pri-MAHN-tee Brothers HOAGIE?" Damned blasphemer! Rioting in the streets? That calls for a full-out crusade n'at.

And from the So Funny It's Almost Sad file:

I missed this on it's first run but the rerun is hilarious.

Throws her bike at the f'ng cops. I swear good dumbassery never gets old.