You Just Can't Make This Up- Part Deux

With the New Year comes the traditional jump into the icy Mon led by the Pittsburgh Polar Bear Club. I can't say that's my cup of tea, but they appear to be having good harmless fun, so God Bless 'em.

That being said, if they could pull this goof out of the shallow end of the gene pool long enough to re-enact this act of sheer buffoonery in Pittsburgh next year, not only would I sell tickets (all proceeds to charity) but I would probably jump in the river myself. Just a thought. Lemmee know.

Oh yeah, bonus if he brings along his river-rescue posse. Especially the annoying chick working the camera.

You Just Can't Make This Up...(can you?)

• From ABC News: Two al Qaeda Leaders Behind Northwest Flight 253 Terror Plot Were Released By U.S.   

Two of the four leaders allegedly behind the al Qaeda plot to blow up a Northwest Airlines passenger jet over Detroit were released by the U.S. from the Guantanamo prison in November, 2007, according to American officials and Department of Defense documents. Al Qaeda claimed responsibility for the Northwest bombing in a Monday statement that vowed more attacks on Americans.

That they would be involved in such a plot is truly surprising because, after the U.S. agreed to send Guantanamo prisoner #333, Muhamad Attik al-Harbi, and prisoner #372, Said Ali Shari to Saudi Arabia on Nov. 9, 2007, they were entered into an "art therapy rehabilitation program"!!???!

"The so-called rehabilitation programs are a joke," a U.S. diplomat said in describing the Saudi efforts with released Guantanamo detainees.

Saudi officials concede its program has had its "failures" but insist that, overall, the effort has helped return potential terrorists to a meaningful life. One program gives the former detainees paints and crayons as part of the rehabilitation regimen.

Waterboarding vs. Watercolors. That's the choice? Really?
• From the Orange County News blog: (actual title NSFW)

"Oral sex gives me good luck when I gamble at the casino."

--Actual excuse Little Saigon's 5-foot-2 and 110-pound Hung Van Phan gave to police in hopes of rationalizing why as a 28-year-old he demanded and received blow jobs and intercourse from two underage Orange County girls, one 14 and the other 15.

           Obviously 14 and 15 year-old participation is not a good idea, but shouldn't  the folks over at Rivers  try to figure out a way to work this into the revenue stream? Just askin'.

• Even occasional visitors to this space can figure out that I wasn't among the celebrants last January 20th. While the POTUS and I don't agree on any issue thus far, I am of the opinion intelligent opposition is the better path to take as opposed to the path preferred by the more "enlightened" among us. Case in point......

           Maybe I'm misguided, but I don't understand how fabric enters into any intelligent political discussion.  
           It's nice to see that I'm not alone in my confusion.

Unfortunately you really can't make this up.

Merry Christmas and a Safe and Joyous New Year to All.

A Sign of the Times?

To all my friends:

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.

I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2009, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great.

Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere.

Also, this wish is made without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee.

Kung Pao Smurf (2009)

This Just In

• Pens lose to the Devils 4-0. That Brodeur kid's gonna be good.
• The Boy Mayor Wins!!! Let me say this about that: First, anyone who thought the students were ever going to have to pony up a dime, clearly shouldn't have the pointy scissors without supervision. That tax never would have survived a court challenge and methinks meknows Master Luke knew that all along. That never was the intent. The aim was, obviously, to get the "non-profits" to come up with the cash but, more obviously they weren't gonna pay voluntarily. So Junior comes up with a plan where the only possible outcome is win-win for everybody involved (and when I say Junior, I, most obviously, mean the guys behind the curtain turning the cranks and pulling the levers). The schools look like they can play well with others and Lukey gets to look like he's the one with the balls to make the hard decisions and the tough choices to save the city. That being said,  the only reason they went after tuitions in the first place was because they knew it was the politically safest route. What were those kids gonna do, anyway? It's not like the first thing out-of-towner students do is register to vote when they come to town. What are they gonna do, vote against Steellerstahl next time? In a related story.....
  
• Bob Smizik writes that, according to a bunch calling themselves Advanced NFLStats, the onside kick in the fourth quarter against the Packers was statistically the smart move. Are we to believe that while it appears that da Stillers are working on their Buccos-stinking-up-the-joint impression, they are, instead playing based on sound mathematical reasoning? Really?
• You may remember the story about the 10 year-old Arkansas girl who was tasered, in her home, by an officer that was summoned because Mama Bear couldn't get Baby Bear to go to bed. In the interest of fairness, (and we are nothing if not fair) we bring you this from above the Mason-Dixon: Boston mom calls 911 over son's video game habit 

(Police spokesman) Zanoli says the mother's 911 call over video game obsession "was a little unusual, but by no means is it surprising - especially in today's day and age when these kids play video games and computer games."

Amazing. Truly Amazing.

Shoveling the Stuff

• So, like everybody else, I'm dealing with 5" of global warming all day. The whole time, all the voices in my head were askin' the same question- and now I'm asking you- "Is there anything, anything, that government does.. any "service" that government provides, that can't be provided more effectively, more efficiently, more economically by the private sector?" Is there? Please tell me.
• Finally, the end of the Christmas season is rapidly approaching. I've been waiting for this since it all began- way back around Memorial Day. Maybe I'm just getting old and way too cynical, or maybe working in the retail arena for the last 30 years has jaded me but the season just doesn't feel like it used to.
  
• One of my biggest complaints about the season has been the fact that the soundtrack hasn't changed in 50 years or so. Honestly, the music starts at midnight on Thanksgiving and runs on a continuous loop till New Years. How much Bing, Elvis, and McCartney should someone be expected to endure? Perhaps if Muzak had more some of this it would be slightly more bearable:
  

• I came to the realization, this week, that eventually it will be time to put down this little corner of cyberspace like you would an old, feeble nag. Yes, there are some that will say that time has passed and this is all just kicking said dead horse. However, when that day comes, it will be due in no small part to the fact that I will have accepted that I can't measure up to the work being done at The Radical Middle.
  Of a better observer and scribe in this city I'm not aware.

Happy Monday

All Gave Some, Some Gave All

Officer Michael Crawshaw

Penn Hills Police Department

Oakland 27. Pittsburgh 24. Hell.Unleashed.

So, Whatcha Doin January 23rd?

You may remember little Ethan Loney. Ethan is the little birthday cake-eating two-year old pictured at left. Ethan is also one of the little birthday cake-eating two year olds that have been asked to endure hardships that birthday cake-eating two-year old little boys should know nothing about, much less live with. From Facebook:

Ethan Loney is an amazing 2 year old boy that that loves to play outside in his and my front yard. Yesterday he was diagonesed with cancer that is attached to his kidney. He is goin to have surgery on thursday to remove it. Althought he is not family i have known Kenny and Kelly since i was a little boy and both them Ethan and Sarah sure seem like family. So lets keep them all in our prayer and hope that he pulls throught this just fine. Ethan has Neuroblastoma and it is in stage 4 and is in his bone marrow. Neuroblastoma is a form of cancer that starts in certain types of very primitive developing nerve cells found in an embryo or fetus. (The term neuro indicates "nerves", while blastoma refers to a cancer that affects immature or developing cells). This type of cancer occurs in infants and young children. It is rarely found in children older than 10 years. Lets all hope that he can be strong and fight off this cancer.

Unfortunately, you may know little Ethan because he recently made the news. More unfortunately, it wasn't because he's a birthday cake-eating two-year old. It was because life decided to teach him a little about the lowlifes of the world. Read about it here.

Fortunately, life has seen fit to surround Ethan with a loving family and a group of supporters dedicated to seeing that Ethan wins the battle that no two-year old should have to fight.

Among those supporters is a local band named Trainwreck. The guys in Trainwreck have organized a benefit concert for young Ethan on January 23rd at the Eagles Club in Carnegie, PA:

This is a benefit concert for young Ethan Loney, who has Neuroblastoma a form of cancer that attacks very young children, Ethan is 2 years old and is going through chemo treatments to try to kill the cancer and rid him of this disease, cost for this event will be $20.00 , there will be food and drink for sale and we will have 50/50 drawings door prizes and other fun events, Along with Trainwreck , Alicia Romano , Jess Sides, and Tori Plack and our friends Cole will be performing, ,

There may very well be something better to drop twenty bucks on, but I really doubt it.

In case you can't make the show but you're interested in helping Ethan's cause, donations are being accepted at:

Ethan Loney Trust Fund

Dollar Bank

PO Box 765

Pittsburgh, PA 15230-0765

Please come out, have a good time and help this birthday cake-eating two year-old little boy.

Oh, Ken Lee, Where Are You?????