Let's Go Pens, Let's Go Pens, Let's Go Pens

Finally, the madness is over......  Pirates put pierogi back in the race

"The employee has been rehired because he was not terminated in accordance with company [human resources] procedures," Brian Warecki, the team's communications director, said in an e-mail Tuesday night. "While his conduct was in violation of our company policy (and many other companies), it was not subject to termination at this time."

It's good to see that being so bold as to state the blatantly  obvious in public is not subject to termination "at this time".

Mr. Kurtz, 24, who was in his second year as one of the team's mascots, was dismissed Thursday evening, hours after posting a message on his Facebook page that said the contract extensions the Pirates gave to general manager Neal Huntington and manager John Russell would mean another losing season.

He said he apologized to Dan Millar, the team's mascot coordinator, but he was still fired from the $25-a-night job.

Just a question- how many mascots is enough? Could the answer be... "WHEN YOU HAVE SO MANY THAT YOU NEED TO EMPLOY AN EFFING MASCOT COORDINATOR ?!!!"

"When they (HR and Senior Management) were made aware of the improper termination on Friday evening, they conducted an investigation into the firing. Upon learning the facts of the case and determining that he should not have been fired, [management] contacted the employee Saturday morning to offer him his job back, and he accepted."

If there's one thing I've learned from my years of life experience, it's everything comes up sunny once HR gets involved.

Mr. Kurtz said the resulting publicity from his dismissal was "overwhelming," and that he didn't tell anyone that he'd been rehired because he wanted to leave that in the hands of the Pirates.

And, naturally, the Succos PR machine lets its mess continue to fester another halfa week. Any press is good press, ya know.

Unfortunately, reinstating  Kurtz means that  perhaps the only job Ross Ohlendorf could perform consistently is gone.

Ohlendorf retired Texas' first 10 batters, pounding his sinker under plenty of swings and misses. But the Rangers have come about their 42-28 record honestly, and they looked far more comfortable second time through the order and chased him with two outs in the fifth.

His line: Four runs, five hits and home runs by Michael Young and Julio Borbon.

His record: 0-6, winless in 15 starts since Aug. 18, 2009.

His ERA: 5.43.

Have no fear, though. Ohlendorf has a handle on it-

"It's frustrating," Ohlendorf said. "I need to pitch a lot better than I have been."

October 7th can't come soon enough.

Mr. Ben-isan Goes To Tokyo

• Just for giggles, what do you think the caption says?
• Why didn't someone tell me there's scammers on the web? Seriously, check this out for some laughs. The Trophy Room is hilarious
• I wonder if the Ambassador has the new Eminem on his I-pod.

"F**k that, I'd rather turn this club into a bar room brawl.
Get as rowdy as Roethlisberger in a bathroom stall"

•  Pens and Canadiens in Round 2. F-Ovechkin. It says here he never gets his name on the Cup (nice photoshop)
• OBLIGATORY PIRATES NOTE AHEAD: The Buccos stretched their win streak to TWO yesterday. They beat the Brewers,1-0, in Milwaukee no less. And took 14 innings to do it. Just a note to those who say each game is just 1 game, that winning by one or losing by 20 aside, it's just 1 game: 9-12 (W/L) is not the same as 78-155. Take a look at those numbers... 78 Runs Scored, 155 Runs Against. Now, say you're in a fight. You punch the other guy in the face 9 times and he gets 12 shots in on you. Next day, same guy, you get in 78 to his 155. Still think the numbers are the same?
• How far wrong has an interview gone when "Is your Mom a prostitute?" seems like the next logical question?

"My job is to find out as much information as possible about a player that I'm considering drafting. Sometimes that leads to asking in-depth questions,"

WTF

While I'm Thinking About It...

• First, obviously, Ben Roethlisberger: I am absolutely astounded at the number of people out there who were surprised that Big Ben got a suspension for his antics. Personally, I wouldn't have objected to a season off for the idiot. I also believe that any "stern talking to" he was going to receive was given after the alleged Nevada incident. (Side note- remember all the interviews, news conferences, denials, etc, after Lake Tahoe? Pretty silent this time, huh?)

I also think that a suspension, by the Steelers at least, became inevitable right after the "Don't make me
come over there" call came from Dublin.

And to the "it's just not fair, he wasn't convicted of anything" crowd- Nowhere in anything that I've read,
have I seen that the dumbass was suspended for rape, assault , or any other crime. He's not going to jail,
just getting some time off from work. Think about your job. I'm betting you could probably be suspended
for violating policy without being convicted, right? Also, how 'bout this simple exercise- take a couple of
minutes to read this, only substitute Tom Brady, Carson Palmer, or Peyton Manning wherever you read
Ben Roethlisberger. How do you feel about suspension now?

All of this is not to say he should or will be traded. Floating his name during Draft Week, I think hope was
just the final piece in "Message.Sent." Trading him just doesn't make good sense. I don't think that moral
high ground will mean much in December when the team needs an MIT professor to explain what needs
to happen to get a Wild Card berth.

This Just In

• Pens lose to the Devils 4-0. That Brodeur kid's gonna be good.
• The Boy Mayor Wins!!! Let me say this about that: First, anyone who thought the students were ever going to have to pony up a dime, clearly shouldn't have the pointy scissors without supervision. That tax never would have survived a court challenge and methinks meknows Master Luke knew that all along. That never was the intent. The aim was, obviously, to get the "non-profits" to come up with the cash but, more obviously they weren't gonna pay voluntarily. So Junior comes up with a plan where the only possible outcome is win-win for everybody involved (and when I say Junior, I, most obviously, mean the guys behind the curtain turning the cranks and pulling the levers). The schools look like they can play well with others and Lukey gets to look like he's the one with the balls to make the hard decisions and the tough choices to save the city. That being said,  the only reason they went after tuitions in the first place was because they knew it was the politically safest route. What were those kids gonna do, anyway? It's not like the first thing out-of-towner students do is register to vote when they come to town. What are they gonna do, vote against Steellerstahl next time? In a related story.....
  
• Bob Smizik writes that, according to a bunch calling themselves Advanced NFLStats, the onside kick in the fourth quarter against the Packers was statistically the smart move. Are we to believe that while it appears that da Stillers are working on their Buccos-stinking-up-the-joint impression, they are, instead playing based on sound mathematical reasoning? Really?
• You may remember the story about the 10 year-old Arkansas girl who was tasered, in her home, by an officer that was summoned because Mama Bear couldn't get Baby Bear to go to bed. In the interest of fairness, (and we are nothing if not fair) we bring you this from above the Mason-Dixon: Boston mom calls 911 over son's video game habit 

(Police spokesman) Zanoli says the mother's 911 call over video game obsession "was a little unusual, but by no means is it surprising - especially in today's day and age when these kids play video games and computer games."

Amazing. Truly Amazing.

Weekend Recap: Dumbass Edition

• WTF is Skippy looking at? Hopefully, the coaching staff for the team he's playing for next season
  will teach the dumbass how to fall down and get tangled up in the returners' legs.
• Plenty of bad play all around, to be sure, but obviously the telephone booth was a little smaller than the inconsequential dumbass receiver thought.
• Everybody was "what a supreme effin' dumbass" when I turned in this week's picks: St. Louis +13.5, Kansas City +1.5 and Cleveland +11. Win, win and 0-0 at the half. Who's the dumbass now?
• Baltimore 16-0 start of the 4th quarter. Guess I am a dumbass.
• With .6 seconds left in the third period, the dumbass that was holding my remote switched from the Pens to what should have been, a foregone conclusion, the last nail in Charlie Weiss's coffin. Pitt holds on for the win and Bill Guerin and Pascal Dupuis shoot me the finger. Sheer dumbassery.
•  But, the hands down, pound-for-pound Dumbass of the Week has to be George from Carbondale, PA. Without the help of Google Maps, I have no idea where Carbondale is. However, if George is any indication, it must be in the middle of a huuuuuge salvia patch.
  
  
  

This just in.....


Baltimore 16- Cleveland 0. Absolute last time I take the mistakes from the lake.

Marion to Hawks- 12yrs, $62.8 M

Right Winger Marion Cunningham signed a 12 year, $62.8 million contract with the Chicago Blackhawks today.

Marion left the Penguins for the Detroit Red Wings, after losing to the Red Wings in last year's Stanley Cup finals, because the Wings were the best shot at a championship ring.

After scoring a team-leading 12 playoff goals for Pittsburgh in 2008, Marion was virtually invisible for the Red Wings this year, against those same Penguins, in their 4-3 series loss to Pittsburgh in the Stanley Cup finals.

(er, what? That's Marian Hossa not Marion Cunningham? Both played about the same, right?)

Superstar

To the literally tens of folks who have taken the time to visit my little public display.... A few thoughts on the Pens win-

• 2 words: Maxime F'in Talbot. My new favorite Pen.
• Rob Scuderi for the Vezina
• Just a reminder- "They won't make it past the Caps." I am a true hockey genius
• A nice recap by Bob Smizik
• And from Mondesis House
• And finally, a personal note- Most of you are aware of the 18 month arrangement I have with the Allegheny County judicial system. In the time this arrangement has been in place (and I have been sporting the jewelry) the Steelers have won the Lombardi and the Pens have drunk from Lord Stanley's Cup. So I've been thinking, if it means the Pirates win the World Series, this year, maybe I should volunteer for another 18 months (kinda takin one for the team). Thoughts anyone? Let me know. Comment. Email