Packin' It In

The boxes reportedly contained balls, bats, gloves, and hope for the future .

Said one player, "Hell, this stuff's  been layin' 'round the clubhouse all season. We're glad to get rid of it!"

Let's Go Pens, Let's Go Pens, Let's Go Pens

Finally, the madness is over......  Pirates put pierogi back in the race

"The employee has been rehired because he was not terminated in accordance with company [human resources] procedures," Brian Warecki, the team's communications director, said in an e-mail Tuesday night. "While his conduct was in violation of our company policy (and many other companies), it was not subject to termination at this time."

It's good to see that being so bold as to state the blatantly  obvious in public is not subject to termination "at this time".

Mr. Kurtz, 24, who was in his second year as one of the team's mascots, was dismissed Thursday evening, hours after posting a message on his Facebook page that said the contract extensions the Pirates gave to general manager Neal Huntington and manager John Russell would mean another losing season.

He said he apologized to Dan Millar, the team's mascot coordinator, but he was still fired from the $25-a-night job.

Just a question- how many mascots is enough? Could the answer be... "WHEN YOU HAVE SO MANY THAT YOU NEED TO EMPLOY AN EFFING MASCOT COORDINATOR ?!!!"

"When they (HR and Senior Management) were made aware of the improper termination on Friday evening, they conducted an investigation into the firing. Upon learning the facts of the case and determining that he should not have been fired, [management] contacted the employee Saturday morning to offer him his job back, and he accepted."

If there's one thing I've learned from my years of life experience, it's everything comes up sunny once HR gets involved.

Mr. Kurtz said the resulting publicity from his dismissal was "overwhelming," and that he didn't tell anyone that he'd been rehired because he wanted to leave that in the hands of the Pirates.

And, naturally, the Succos PR machine lets its mess continue to fester another halfa week. Any press is good press, ya know.

Unfortunately, reinstating  Kurtz means that  perhaps the only job Ross Ohlendorf could perform consistently is gone.

Ohlendorf retired Texas' first 10 batters, pounding his sinker under plenty of swings and misses. But the Rangers have come about their 42-28 record honestly, and they looked far more comfortable second time through the order and chased him with two outs in the fifth.

His line: Four runs, five hits and home runs by Michael Young and Julio Borbon.

His record: 0-6, winless in 15 starts since Aug. 18, 2009.

His ERA: 5.43.

Have no fear, though. Ohlendorf has a handle on it-

"It's frustrating," Ohlendorf said. "I need to pitch a lot better than I have been."

October 7th can't come soon enough.

Let's Go Bucs! Lets Go Bucs!

Who says the Pirates front office doesn't know what they're doing?

After each race, the Pirates post on the scoreboard the "standings" numbering the wins recorded by each pierogi. According to Mr. Kurtz, the races are not, in fact, always fixed. 

"They try to keep it close," he said. "They don't want a pierogi to fall too far behind. So if Jalapeno Hannah is two, three games behind, they kind of want her to win, so they pick the fastest runner out of the four runners that are racing that night and give Hannah to that one."

Must be how they put together the rotation, too.

Mr. Ben-isan Goes To Tokyo

• Just for giggles, what do you think the caption says?
• Why didn't someone tell me there's scammers on the web? Seriously, check this out for some laughs. The Trophy Room is hilarious
• I wonder if the Ambassador has the new Eminem on his I-pod.

"F**k that, I'd rather turn this club into a bar room brawl.
Get as rowdy as Roethlisberger in a bathroom stall"

•  Pens and Canadiens in Round 2. F-Ovechkin. It says here he never gets his name on the Cup (nice photoshop)
• OBLIGATORY PIRATES NOTE AHEAD: The Buccos stretched their win streak to TWO yesterday. They beat the Brewers,1-0, in Milwaukee no less. And took 14 innings to do it. Just a note to those who say each game is just 1 game, that winning by one or losing by 20 aside, it's just 1 game: 9-12 (W/L) is not the same as 78-155. Take a look at those numbers... 78 Runs Scored, 155 Runs Against. Now, say you're in a fight. You punch the other guy in the face 9 times and he gets 12 shots in on you. Next day, same guy, you get in 78 to his 155. Still think the numbers are the same?
• How far wrong has an interview gone when "Is your Mom a prostitute?" seems like the next logical question?

"My job is to find out as much information as possible about a player that I'm considering drafting. Sometimes that leads to asking in-depth questions,"

WTF

Introducing Your 2010 Pittsburgh Pirates...

From Dejan Kovacevic at the PG:

Forget .500 ball, get Cooperstown on the phone!

Seriously, every year at Pirate opener time I think "hell, this just may be the year. Maybe these are the guys." Then, before I know it, I'm wishing for L.A. Law's  Arnie Becker, Willie Mayes Hayes, and Carlos Irwin Estevez.

And, every year, the Guy in the Pontiac Vibe bets me $5 that the Buccos will go .500. And, being the contrarian I am, I take the bet. A few more years of the Nutting regime and my 401(k) should be back to pre- dot-com bubble crash numbers.

Something different this season though. Win or lose the kids win. I jumped on Ginny's This is the Year bandwagon over at That's Church. I hear that bandwagon has "margaritas, burritos, hot babes, shirtless football players, playful puppies, a billion dollars in cash on board, and we don’t brake for pigeons."  There's plenty of room on the wagon. Or, for you realists naysayers out there, you can click on the Not an Ice Cream Cone's Chance in Hell No This is Not the Year link. Either way, the money's for the kids.

 So It's Time. We Will. Or Come See Us Play. Let's go Bucs!!

Besides if you Come Hungry there's always the Victory Knot. Only 81 victories costs me $5. Hell, this just may be the year. Maybe these are the guys.

This Just In

• Pens lose to the Devils 4-0. That Brodeur kid's gonna be good.
• The Boy Mayor Wins!!! Let me say this about that: First, anyone who thought the students were ever going to have to pony up a dime, clearly shouldn't have the pointy scissors without supervision. That tax never would have survived a court challenge and methinks meknows Master Luke knew that all along. That never was the intent. The aim was, obviously, to get the "non-profits" to come up with the cash but, more obviously they weren't gonna pay voluntarily. So Junior comes up with a plan where the only possible outcome is win-win for everybody involved (and when I say Junior, I, most obviously, mean the guys behind the curtain turning the cranks and pulling the levers). The schools look like they can play well with others and Lukey gets to look like he's the one with the balls to make the hard decisions and the tough choices to save the city. That being said,  the only reason they went after tuitions in the first place was because they knew it was the politically safest route. What were those kids gonna do, anyway? It's not like the first thing out-of-towner students do is register to vote when they come to town. What are they gonna do, vote against Steellerstahl next time? In a related story.....
  
• Bob Smizik writes that, according to a bunch calling themselves Advanced NFLStats, the onside kick in the fourth quarter against the Packers was statistically the smart move. Are we to believe that while it appears that da Stillers are working on their Buccos-stinking-up-the-joint impression, they are, instead playing based on sound mathematical reasoning? Really?
• You may remember the story about the 10 year-old Arkansas girl who was tasered, in her home, by an officer that was summoned because Mama Bear couldn't get Baby Bear to go to bed. In the interest of fairness, (and we are nothing if not fair) we bring you this from above the Mason-Dixon: Boston mom calls 911 over son's video game habit 

(Police spokesman) Zanoli says the mother's 911 call over video game obsession "was a little unusual, but by no means is it surprising - especially in today's day and age when these kids play video games and computer games."

Amazing. Truly Amazing.

What Would the Chief Say?

From PSAMP

"This is officially the most of Casey we've seen, even without the head and lower body. And I think it's safe to assume that this is more of our massive nose tackle than we've ever hoped to take in. A little too much hip/thigh/groin for me, even though very little of it is shown."

First "Raw"-thlisberger (or do you prefer De-"Ben"-eration X) is on 'rasslin, now this?

The Steeler organization in general, and the Rooney family in particular are clearly much brighter than I when it comes to the whole football business thing, but is this REEEAAAALLLY a good idea?

There are those that worried about the reaction to the WWE appearance after a loss to San Diego. Personally, I'm now worried about what happens should the Black and Gold lose to Detroit.

**************************************

In the pool this week:

Dall -8.5, SF -2.5, NE -3, Ind -4, Hou +5.5, Jax +.5

Just askin'-

1. Is anyone comfortable with da Stillers givin' more than 10 to anyone at this point? Even Detroit?

2. If da Raida-s are indeed 16 worse than the New York Football Giants, do you think they could beat the Pirates?

WHEW!!!! That was Close!

Ben Roethlisberger celebrates his first touchdown against the Chargers tonight at Heinz Field.(Matt Freed/ Post-Gazette)

Steelers beat Chargers, 38-28

Steelers narrowly avoid late implosion

Avoiding 100 losses a small triumph for Bucs

****************************************************

And the hits keep coming- 4-2 in the pool this week (who the fuck woke up Jacksonville?). 14-10 on the season. Woo hoo!

Todays History Lesson

Fans wait to get into the calamitous ZZ Top/Aerosmith concert at Three Rivers Stadium on June 12, 1976-PG

JUNE 12, 1976...

Three Rivers Stadium...Beer...Cattle...Beer...Rattlesnakes...Beer...Beer

ZZ TOP...AEROSMITH

$8.75 a Seat!!!

54,000 paid...250 injured...2 dead

PAAARTY!!!

Nice walk down memory lane by PG's Scott Mervis

• The calamities were Texas-sized. The front page headline the next day in The Pittsburgh Press was "250 Fans Injured at Rock Concert," many of them cut by broken glass "when bottle-throwing erupted." The medic on the scene treated people for eye lacerations, drug overdoses, a broken nose and a broken pelvis. A pregnant woman suffered severe burns on her leg when a cherry bomb landed on her lap. At one point, fans rushed a dugout to get on the field, hitting one security guard with a bottle and trampling the other.
• "[It] was the most horrible thing I have ever seen since World War II," Dr. Joseph Finegold, the Pittsburgh Pirates physician, told the paper.
• Two days later came a more ominous front-page headline: "Two Dead in Concert Aftermath." Hundreds of people had been swimming in the rivers before and after the concert, and the morning after, the body of a nude woman, an unemployed school teacher, was found in the Ohio River near Clemente Park.
• "They were all hopped up on dope and booze and running around exposing themselves. When they had to relieve themselves, they just did it in the lot. They didn't care who was watching."
• Still, five days later, Mayor Pete Flaherty laid down the law. If there were going to be any more rock concerts at the stadium, he said, they had to be seven hours max, the gates had to open earlier, there had to be more portable toilets, and drunks and druggies weren't getting in.

To review boys and girls- 54,000 hopped up drunks rioting and exposing themselves to a great soundtrack, all for the price of a gameday beer. And not 1 report of someone bustin a cap.

Oh, and seriously dude, "[It] was the most horrible thing I have ever seen since World War II,"?? Good thing you haven't been around PNC for the carnage the last 16 years.

Top of the Food Chain Edition

So it's one of my usual jumpin' Saturday nights. I'm wandering around online with the Pirate game on for background noise, Rockies 9-7 but I kinda like the McCutchen kid, and I made a stop at asathecomic's spot on youtube. Asa's a comic from Minneapolis and puts up alot of funny stuff. Admittedly, I don't quite get all the shots he takes at rappers/hip-hoppers in his spoof vids (I'm not quite the demographic) but it's funny nonetheless. Anyway, I clicked on this clip: Not sure that it's 41/2 stars funny, but whatever. In case you missed it, President Savior went all ninja on a fly during a recent interview: Reading PETA in the title of that clip reminded me that they issued a release condemning the senseless slaughter of this creature. Now, if you made it all the way down to the Obama portion of that link, you're probably thinking what I am, to wit:

• I don't know who Banksy is, but he seems like a douchebag.
• What the phuck is a Sea Kitten and is it really a phriend?
• Guevara's grandaughter got me hankerin' fer some carrots.

and...

• Seriously... what the f*&k is wrong with "comedian" Andy Dick??

Andy is a comedian/actor struggling to maintain D-List status. I've seen him and thought he was kinda funny in shows like Newsradio and The Andy Dick Show. Now you can find him mainly on the celebrity roasts on Comedy Central acting like a complete douchenozzle. I mean Courtney Love looks at him and says "Dude you're fucked up!"

Anyway, at :46 into the clip, a seemingly articulate and intelligent woman starts talking about how PETA isn't trying to get everyone to go vegetarian but they just want McDonald's to "consciously" slaughter chickens in a more humane way. Maybe she's right. I guess being scalded, debeaked, or defeathered alive would suck. I guess there probably is a better way to kill the poor chickens. Maybe we could drive them to suicide by making them sit through an Andy Dick Film Festival. Maybe we could have them buzz the President during his interviews. Whatever it takes. But, just when she just about has me, Miss PETA starts yapping about how we shouldn't treat the chickens like we're superior (cuz we're not) and how we're here to co-exist. Whaat?? Listen folks, don't think for a minute that, if given the chance, you wouldn't find your nuggets covered in dipping sauce in the hands of some chicken. Arnold Ziffell slathering you up with KC Masterpiece. Some bovine Bobby Flay whipping up a batch of Sloppy Joes, or Marks, or Petes.

Were it not for opposing thumbs to yank the food chain, Miss Peta lady, Hooters would be much different place.

I ain't sayin, I'm just sayin...

• Beautiful day in Pittsburgh. Temp in the 80's, sunny and I can't put it better than this. (OFTOT)
• Big day for the good guys Thursday in Carnegie.(PG).
• Also, a PAT charter to District Court- PRICELESS (KDKA). Seriously, 1/4 to 1/3 of all crime calls in the borough to one apartment complex? WTF?? Must be alot of money to be made in government subsidies to bid over $700k in foreclosure for this mess. Your tax dollars at work.
• So, a "disoriented" and "mentally challenged" man forces his way onto a charter flight (ABC.com) in Jamaica. The flight is headed back to Canada with a scheduled stop in Cuba. The man is armed and decides to HIJACK THE FLIGHT TO CUBA. You say mentally challenged, I say it's good to see Jamaican agriculture is as good as I remember from high school.
• Despite a great effort from the bullpen, the Bucs lost to the Padres 4-3 in 11 innings last night. The loss makes them tied for 2nd in the division at 9-7. To the Art Teacher in the Pontiac Vibe: that's 9 wins down and 63 to go.
• With Sony moving forward with plans to close their plant in New Stanton, I think they've found the answer to their problems:

Pirates Drop Two

Home Teams go 1-1, US Navy wins in Extra Innings

Despite making their first triple play in 6 seasons, the Pittsburgh Pirates lost to the Cincinnati Reds this afternoon 2-o. (It appears that the headline writer and proofreader on the link must be Bucco fans). After a remarkably unremarkable performance, the Pirates are now 3-4 0n the young season. Perhaps they should have taken it easy yesterday and saved a few runs for today. On a bright note, it's good to see that the brothers LaRoche are in fine season-opening form having gone a combined 3-36 at the plate so far.

In the other showdown, US Navy snipers shot and killed 3 of the 4 pirates holding the captain of an American cargo ship hostage off the coast of Somalia. While this a big win for the American team, there were a few glaring weaknesses in their gameplan:

1. This part of the world is notorius for piracy. Why wasn't the ship or its crew armed?
2. The lifeboat carrying the captain and 4 pirates was "shadowed" for days by US warships and helicopters. Why wasn't the Navy allowed to use its training and take back the ship earlier?
3. Hundreds of sailors and billions of dollars in naval hardware within eyeshot of a lifeboat and they have to wait around while FBI negotiators try to talk to Somalian pirates. World renowned naval powers France and India deal with pirates and our government sends in Samuel L. Jackson and Kevin Spacey. While I am a big fan of both, sometimes I'd prefer Kiefer Sutherland.

Hopefully, before this happens again (and it's highly likely it will) I hope someone in Washington reads up on 1801 Tripoli.