Random Randomosity

• Maybe the Islamists in Somalia aren't all bad:  Somali militants threaten World Cup TV viewers

"We are warning all the youth of Somalia not to dare watch these World Cup matches. It is a waste of money and time and they will not benefit anything or get any experience by watching mad men jumping up and down," he said.

Clearly that guy has never sat through a few hours at PNC Park 

• First they're not fit for the Stanley Cup, now...  Report: Most Philadelphians Not Fit For Military

A nonprofit group says that up to 90 percent of young Philadelphians are ineligible for military service because of criminal records, obesity or lack of education.

Put skates on 'em. They'd all fit right in with the Flyers

• At this point, don't you think an attorney is just a waste?  Van der Sloot attorney quits 

He is in a high-security area of the prison where only two of 10 cells are occupied, and he has no contact with inmates in the general prison population.

He is under guard 24 hours a day, authorities said.

The only other inmate in the area is alleged Colombian hit man Hugo Trujillo Ospina. The two have spent some time together in a common area where there is a television set and weights made of out of broomsticks and soda bottles, authorities said.

It occurs to me- Joran Van der Sloot: cold blooded killer or just really bad date?

• Hey McDonalds... Chocolate. Milk. Shake. Had I wanted whipped cream and a cherry, I'm almost  sure I would have ordered a Mc-Effing- sundae.

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Just for fun... captions for the photo anyone?

Mr. Ben-isan Goes To Tokyo

• Just for giggles, what do you think the caption says?
• Why didn't someone tell me there's scammers on the web? Seriously, check this out for some laughs. The Trophy Room is hilarious
• I wonder if the Ambassador has the new Eminem on his I-pod.

"F**k that, I'd rather turn this club into a bar room brawl.
Get as rowdy as Roethlisberger in a bathroom stall"

•  Pens and Canadiens in Round 2. F-Ovechkin. It says here he never gets his name on the Cup (nice photoshop)
• OBLIGATORY PIRATES NOTE AHEAD: The Buccos stretched their win streak to TWO yesterday. They beat the Brewers,1-0, in Milwaukee no less. And took 14 innings to do it. Just a note to those who say each game is just 1 game, that winning by one or losing by 20 aside, it's just 1 game: 9-12 (W/L) is not the same as 78-155. Take a look at those numbers... 78 Runs Scored, 155 Runs Against. Now, say you're in a fight. You punch the other guy in the face 9 times and he gets 12 shots in on you. Next day, same guy, you get in 78 to his 155. Still think the numbers are the same?
• How far wrong has an interview gone when "Is your Mom a prostitute?" seems like the next logical question?

"My job is to find out as much information as possible about a player that I'm considering drafting. Sometimes that leads to asking in-depth questions,"

WTF

While I'm Thinking About It...

• First, obviously, Ben Roethlisberger: I am absolutely astounded at the number of people out there who were surprised that Big Ben got a suspension for his antics. Personally, I wouldn't have objected to a season off for the idiot. I also believe that any "stern talking to" he was going to receive was given after the alleged Nevada incident. (Side note- remember all the interviews, news conferences, denials, etc, after Lake Tahoe? Pretty silent this time, huh?)

I also think that a suspension, by the Steelers at least, became inevitable right after the "Don't make me
come over there" call came from Dublin.

And to the "it's just not fair, he wasn't convicted of anything" crowd- Nowhere in anything that I've read,
have I seen that the dumbass was suspended for rape, assault , or any other crime. He's not going to jail,
just getting some time off from work. Think about your job. I'm betting you could probably be suspended
for violating policy without being convicted, right? Also, how 'bout this simple exercise- take a couple of
minutes to read this, only substitute Tom Brady, Carson Palmer, or Peyton Manning wherever you read
Ben Roethlisberger. How do you feel about suspension now?

All of this is not to say he should or will be traded. Floating his name during Draft Week, I think hope was
just the final piece in "Message.Sent." Trading him just doesn't make good sense. I don't think that moral
high ground will mean much in December when the team needs an MIT professor to explain what needs
to happen to get a Wild Card berth.

Oh Well....

Another year, another bracket shot in the ass. Maybe Saint Mary's vs. Northern Iowa in the final.

For you Kansas fans- that's Mr. Farokhmanesh to you.

Let Me Say This About That

Phil Perri, who has a construction business, uses his mini front loader to dig out his neighbors in Lawrenceville. "Thank God for Phil. He's the greatest," says Mary Ann Paddle, shoveling at right.

• So, again I ask... Is there any service that the government can provide better and more efficiently than the private sector? Answers anyone? Anyone?
• The whole Northeast under snow. Hundreds of thousands without power. Wonder what Pat Robertson has to say about this.
• Overheard at the local Iggle (which was running on generator power)- "... we had everything to make chili, but we had to come out for sour cream."
• Is it just me, or do mall parking lots never get snowed upon? Or is it that, since they know that they are open to lawsuits, they don't have the luxury of the don't-care-itude the municipalities exhibit. Seems like no matter what mall, the roads to the lots are treacherous but the parking lots are bone dry.
• A Canadian company has begun selling a novelty golf ball set that features cartoon likenesses of Tiger Woods' alleged mistresses. Naturally, feminist busybody attorney Gloria Allred is peeved and wants production of the golf balls to end
  
  
  Attorney Gloria Allred is representing one of those women -- former adult film actress Veronica Siwik-Daniels (aka Joslyn James) -- who claims to have had a long-term intimate relationship with golf icon Tiger Woods. Allred and Siwik-Daniels are calling for the end of the production of golf balls bearing an image of Siwik. Allred argues that putting the face of a woman on a ball which golfers hit with full force could result in marks on the image that might resemble bruises and may lead to inappropriate jokes about hitting women.
   
    Two things occur to me. First, I'm sure that there is indeed an inappropriate joke involving the faces of the alleged mistresses and Tiger's balls in there somewhere and I'm sure it doesn't involve hitting women. Second, for some good inappropriate fun Gloria should check this out.
• A 13 year old from Delaware has given a verbal commitment to play quarterback at USC in 2015. That's it, College Football has officially lost it's mind.
  

"He's already six feet as a 13-year old," (personal quarterback coach) Clarkson said. "And he's breaking down NFL footage"

The younger Sills, who is an seventh-grader at Red Lion Christian Academy in Bear, Del., has been training with Clarkson for three years. They meet about once every six weeks at various locations around the country. Sometimes in California, where Clarkson is based. Sometimes in Delaware. And sometimes somewhere in the middle, if Clarkson is conducting a clinic.

               I hope I'm wrong, but, I can't help but think of Todd Marinovich.
         
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Again, I hope I'm wrong..... Indy minus the points.

Just a few scattered thoughts on a shitty Sunday.......

• From the "Just (insert deity of choice here) Thinnin' the Herd" file: France alarmed over anthrax-tainted heroin in Europe 

The French health ministry issued a warning on Tuesday after eight people died and seven fell sick in two European countries from using heroin contaminated by anthrax. "Since December 6, there have been 15 confirmed cases of anthrax among heroin users, 14 in Scotland and one in Germany," the ministry's General Directorate for Health (DGS) said in a statement.
"Eight people died," it said. "The likeliest source is heroin contaminated by anthrax spores." 

First hepatitis, then AIDS, now anthrax and they still wanna ride the white horse? Just
thinnin' the herd.

• From the "Nobody Was Ever More Aptly Named" file: Andy Dick charged with felony, shows still on 
  
  

Dick was taken into custody around 4 a.m. after two men accused Dick of groping them at Rum Runners, at 819 3rd Ave. According to a press release issued at 12:26 p.m. Saturday from the Huntington Police Department, officers responded to a call to investigate “two alleged incidents of a patron engaging in non-consensual sexual contact with a bar employee and another patron.”

and

Actor & Entertainer Andy Dick Arrested in Huntington

The incident happened at Rum Runners on 3rd Avenue in Huntington.
According to the criminal complaint, a security guard at the club claims he was trying to put an armband on Dick when he became the victim of sexual abuse. The guard says Dick grabbed his crotch and began laughing.

Another man says that Dick sexually abused him. The man says he was talking to Dick when, "unexpectedly and without invitation," Dick "grabbed his crotch and began kissing him." This was witnessed by the victim’s girlfriend.

Now, I have opined in the past about Mr. Dick. I really believe he's a certifiable whackjob who should probably be locked away in a rehab somewhere. But, with that said, a couple of things strike me as particularly troubling. First- I've never been Huntington WV. and I know nothing about Rum Runners, but, unless there's Broadway showtunes on the jukebox and they have drink specials on "Sword Fight Nights" (and there is nothing wrong with that), this is a sad commentary on the state of bar bouncers in the Wild and Wonderful State. I mean, this little douchebag grabs the bouncer's package and LAUGHS and they call the cops!!?? Where's the redneck beatdown for chrissakes? And then, he grabs another dude's junk and KISSES him in front of dude's girlfriend?? And dude says he was sexually abused? WTF?? Unfortunately, I think the more likely scenario involves Bo and Luke Duke here picturing some kind of payday(because Andy is such a big star). And, I can only guess that the only reason everybody gets paid is because they're all in on the gag. And why? Like I've said - reality tv will be the death of Western Civilization. Just sayin'.

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To touch on the football games: yay New Orleans, yay Indianapolis. Yay the end of the Mark Sanchez/Joe Namath references, yay maybe Brett finally goes and lays down. The Mirage has Indy at -3 1/2. Bring on the prop bets.

Great Moments In Women's Soccer That Don't Involve Brandi Chastain

Mental Masturbation Edition

Mental Masturbation v: The act of engaging in impractical/nonproductive mental exercise/thinkings/writings through which a practitioner only comforts oneself mentally. Such acts don't lead to any constructive results what so ever in the real world; some might even imagine oneself being transformed into superman, or simply the opposite sex, etc. In short, it's just bs/crap. ( by lionhead May 25, 2007 at Urban Dictionary)

Where did the summer go? Kids are back to school, Steelers are starting, Pens are getting ready, Pirates finishing up (oops, bad example. That coulda been Memorial Day).

I was roaming around my local Iggle the other day (god, seems like I spend a lotta time there) and they had Halloween candy out already! They get earlier every year with these holidays. I guess that means Easter must be right around the corner.

Overheard at the bus stop..."for a hundred bucks you'd think this belt would hold my pants up!"

Because I am a documented sports genius, I'll try to post my weekly picks in the work football pool (just in case you wanna grow that college fund for junior). Week 1 picks:

Cincinnati -4, New England -10 1/2, San Diego -9, Seattle -7.5, Dallas -5.5, Carolina +1

Season record: ( 0-0 ). That's perfect y'all! Or, .500. Either way, I won't see either again this season.

'Nuther Local Boy Makes Good

Kurt Angle arrested on PFA violation, possession of HGH

Pro wrestler Kurt Angle is free on bond following his arrest today on charges that he violated a protection of abuse order obtained by his girlfriend earlier in the morning. Mr. Angle, 40, of Moon, was arrested by township police around 7:50 a.m. in the parking lot of a Giant Eagle Supermarket where his girlfriend, Trenesh Biggers, had taken refuge, according to a police affidavit that supports his arrest.

Uh-oh Kurt! What have you done now?

She told police Mr. Angle, who already had abused her physically, had been stalking her from outside a Starbucks where she was using a computer to send e-mails. She said she was afraid to use her home computer because Mr. Angle lives there, the affidavit said. She called police after she again saw him circling the supermarket parking lot.

Had a PFA issued against you and already violated by 8AM?? Nice work, big guy!

After police were dispatched this morning, an officer pulled over his car on Park Manor and Robinson Town Center Drive. During the traffic stop, Mr. Angle told police he and Ms. Biggers had an altercation last night. He said Moon police removed him from his residence.

Moon police again?

He denied stalking Ms. Biggers, claiming he was looking for a hotel in which to stay since he was barred from his home.

Wasn't stalking. Big misunderstanding. After all, everyone knows hotels are hard to find in the Moon/Airport/Robinson area. Besides, maybe you just needed a Starbucks latte to calm yourself. Yeah, that would explain violatin' a PFA so early in the AM. Wouldn't it?

In addition to the PFA violation, Mr. Angle also was arraigned on charges of harassment, possession of the human growth hormone Hygetropin, and possession of a syringe to use the controlled substance, police said.

Hold your cards we have a bingo!

Police ordered his car, a Cadillac, to be towed from the scene because Mr. Angle's license is suspended in connection with a previous drunken driving arrest.

Hence the Moon PD reference above.

Kurt, Kurt, Kurt. At least you didn't go all "Pittsburgh Kid" on her. Then again, Trenesha/Rhaka Khan/Black Barbie/Naomi Banks/Panther Claw could probably kick the Kid's ass anyway. UPDATE: Kurt Angle found not guilty of violating protection order