Oh Well....

Another year, another bracket shot in the ass. Maybe Saint Mary's vs. Northern Iowa in the final.

For you Kansas fans- that's Mr. Farokhmanesh to you.

Weekend Recap: Dumbass Edition

• WTF is Skippy looking at? Hopefully, the coaching staff for the team he's playing for next season
  will teach the dumbass how to fall down and get tangled up in the returners' legs.
• Plenty of bad play all around, to be sure, but obviously the telephone booth was a little smaller than the inconsequential dumbass receiver thought.
• Everybody was "what a supreme effin' dumbass" when I turned in this week's picks: St. Louis +13.5, Kansas City +1.5 and Cleveland +11. Win, win and 0-0 at the half. Who's the dumbass now?
• Baltimore 16-0 start of the 4th quarter. Guess I am a dumbass.
• With .6 seconds left in the third period, the dumbass that was holding my remote switched from the Pens to what should have been, a foregone conclusion, the last nail in Charlie Weiss's coffin. Pitt holds on for the win and Bill Guerin and Pascal Dupuis shoot me the finger. Sheer dumbassery.
•  But, the hands down, pound-for-pound Dumbass of the Week has to be George from Carbondale, PA. Without the help of Google Maps, I have no idea where Carbondale is. However, if George is any indication, it must be in the middle of a huuuuuge salvia patch.
  
  
  

This just in.....


Baltimore 16- Cleveland 0. Absolute last time I take the mistakes from the lake.

Knockin' Off The Rust Edition

Just a few thoughts...

• I've been struggling of late trying to get a particular rant worded and out of my head. I guess that explains the Chris Rock/Elton John/White Zombie-does-KC & the Sunshine Band trifecta for the last 3 posts. Once I get that cathartic piece out, it's back to the rank mediocrity we here at IKNAB are famous for.
• Speaking of "we here at IKNAB", according to those 2 gadgets over on the right side of this page, we have had visitors from 33 states and 30 countries. Question: What kind of wrong turn is everybody taking to get here? Modesty and my faith in mankind prevents me from thinking the national/international community is wandering by on purpose.
• The Boy Mayor wins!! WooHoo! Thoughts on that surprise coming.
• In the office pool, .500 going into this week. Here's this week's lines. Got suggestions? Comment/email.

Washington Atlanta -10	San Diego New York (N) -4.5	Tennessee San Francisco -4	Dallas Philadelphia -3
Detroit Seattle -10	Arizona Chicago -3	Baltimore Cincinnati +3	Houston Indianapolis -9
Kansas City Jacksonville -6.5	Miami New England -10.5	Green Bay Tampa Bay +10	Carolina New Orleans -4
Pittsburgh Denver +3

What Would the Chief Say?

From PSAMP

"This is officially the most of Casey we've seen, even without the head and lower body. And I think it's safe to assume that this is more of our massive nose tackle than we've ever hoped to take in. A little too much hip/thigh/groin for me, even though very little of it is shown."

First "Raw"-thlisberger (or do you prefer De-"Ben"-eration X) is on 'rasslin, now this?

The Steeler organization in general, and the Rooney family in particular are clearly much brighter than I when it comes to the whole football business thing, but is this REEEAAAALLLY a good idea?

There are those that worried about the reaction to the WWE appearance after a loss to San Diego. Personally, I'm now worried about what happens should the Black and Gold lose to Detroit.

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In the pool this week:

Dall -8.5, SF -2.5, NE -3, Ind -4, Hou +5.5, Jax +.5

Just askin'-

1. Is anyone comfortable with da Stillers givin' more than 10 to anyone at this point? Even Detroit?

2. If da Raida-s are indeed 16 worse than the New York Football Giants, do you think they could beat the Pirates?

WHEW!!!! That was Close!

Ben Roethlisberger celebrates his first touchdown against the Chargers tonight at Heinz Field.(Matt Freed/ Post-Gazette)

Steelers beat Chargers, 38-28

Steelers narrowly avoid late implosion

Avoiding 100 losses a small triumph for Bucs

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And the hits keep coming- 4-2 in the pool this week (who the fuck woke up Jacksonville?). 14-10 on the season. Woo hoo!

Steeler Football: Troubling, Just Troubling

Troubling, just troubling. Via PSAMP:

• From Mondesi's House: Yes, Ben Roethlisberger Will Host WWE RAW

And for extra theatrics, he will be flanked by his entire offensive line, which will be trying to successfully block someone for the first time this year.
And
One thing I know for sure: I don't even want to think about a world in which they lose to San Diego, hold a 1-3 record, and follow that with a scripted wrestling appearance by a half-dozen of their players. It may get uglier than the G-20 protests in Pittsburgh.
Scary thought, indeed.
I was going to jot something down, earlier this week, to this effect...
"blah, blah, blah... Though I don't necessarily agree with President Savior's policies and politics, I must thank him for one thing- since his arrival on the national political scene, not only has the Rev. Jesse Jackson all but become invisible, but the Rev. Al Sharpton is becoming more and more irrelevant. This seems to be borne out by Sharpton's hosting of WWE RAW. What could possibly better signify comic book irrelevance than hosting RAW blah, blah, blah...."
I had all the facts and figures and comebacks ready for the attacks from the "You Redneck, Racist, Right-Wing Bastard!" crowd, but now with the Roethlisberger announcement, do I tempt the wrath of Stiller Nation by using "Roethlisberger", "(truly)Offensive Line", and "comic book irrelevance" in the same sentence? Well, like they say, I may have been born during the day....., troubling, just troubling.

• Willie "Pink Shoes" Parker- Pink shoes for a good cause, to be sure, but the pink toe inside the shoe is troubling, just troubling. Welcome back, Carey Davis.
• Troy Polamalu- With all due respect, Troy is probably the best safety in the league, but, if missing one player can make as much of a difference to a defending Super Bowl Champion, as it appears Troy's has, methinks something else is afoot. Complacency, anyone? Troubling, just troubling.
• Casey Hampton nekkid- Hey ESPN The Magazine- WTF???? Troub,er, GROSS JUST GROSS.

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For the football pool last week- 5 WINS, 1 LOSS (55% for the season). I'm a genius I tell ya'. Hey Cleveland, you can't find a way to stay within 2 effin' touchdowns????? It's official- you do truly suck.
This week for all you smart bandwagon jumpers....
Hou -9.5, Tenn -3, Dal -3, NO -6.5, NYG -9, Ind -6.5
Come to poppa, golden goose.

What's a Good Summit Without Keanu?

So, it's over huh?

A few thoughts, if I may...

• My prize for best exhibit: Greenpeace.

Subtle, well thought-out, nice execution, most of all- no destruction. I gotta wonder, however, how many folks sitting in traffic wouldn't have liked to have seen ol' Bob Duvall and the boys swoopin' down the Allegheny to help the danglers off the bridge?

When sunlight hit the sign just right, however, you could see the real message (Magnus Patris):

• Nice job keeping the malcontents out of the Downtown area. Pity the city didn't get a chance to showcase the barricades on the storefronts and the pretty banners on the unoccupied spaces. Bigger pity there was a need for so many banners. Nice windfall for the company(s) that came up with all the banners.
• As for the mob/police interaction: Fortunately, I think, it was less than of a problem than expected. After bringing in such a show of force, I think the "mob" underwhelmed law enforcement, initially, causing a certain sense of security and confidence (rightfully so). At the risk of offending all the nouveau-constitutional scholars out there, I think that the early harassment (messing with the food bus, hassling the lawful assemblers, etc), though purely chickenshit moves all, was necessary to set the bar a little higher than usual. Does that bus bus get hassled if it's parked them same way this Thursday, probably not. But it's all part of the game and all involved know how to play. I park my bus to tweak your nose, you cite my bus to punch me in the arm, I complain and bitch in the media,thereby getting the the issue and the ACLU before a judge, to give you a shove, you have the judge "maybe" bend the Constitution a little to shove me back, and it's on. Unfortunately, all the anti-climactic early skirmishes fed into the mess Friday night. If you take a bunch of people, with no intent other than creating chaos, and limit their chaos-making and mix them with a bunch of police, shipped in and dressed for preventing/putting down chaos, and limit their opportunity to use their neat-o toys, a mess is what you get. There is no bigger supporter of the police than I, but you didn't really think all the police and National Guard came from parts unknown just to do the tourist thing, did you?
• As for the rousers of the rabble: Where were you 2 weeks ago? Where will you be next week? Is there a tour schedule? Who do follow around, ala the Deadheads. I'd hate to think you've all gone to your establishment lives and your establishment jobs. You guys really aren't hypocrites roaming the countryside, spending mummsy and daddies corporate-earned money, looking for shit to break, are you? Just askin'.
• Now for the rabble: Please permit me to go into Keeanu Reeves mode for a moment.

As I asked above, where were you 2 weeks ago? Funny, but I didn't see any accounts of protesting in the streets of Oakland in the PG or the Trib or even the Pitt News. No stories of anyone protesting the military-industrial complex by breaking windows at that naval sandwich shop or that colonel's chicken joint. Where was your social conscience then? Surely, it wasn't just that things were getting boring at the O so you thought it would be a good idea to make some mischief. Was it? And then, to get angry when your hand got smacked? Really? And- about that hand- remember back when you was a wee tot and mommy told you not to touch the stove? Remember? No! Hot! How many times did you touch that stove? If your is answer is more than twice, you should return all your student loan money, cuz all that book-learnin' ain't gonna do you no good. The point is this: There's people in town to cause chaos, and the cops are ready. Probably this isn't your fight, due your lack of protesting history (see above). The cops are marching in the streets, the robocop truck is blaring "stay the eff off the streets or bad things might happen", the Pitt Admin is texting "stay the hell in your dorms for it may not be safe outside, youngsters". And, you, our brightest of the bright, our leaders of tomorrow, our hope for the future, TOUCH THE GODDAMNED STOVE!!! And then, naturally, you bitch and whine all over the media and, more naturally, post all over Youtube. Grandma called it a life lesson kids.

All in all, it coulda been alot worse. Nice job, Pittsburgh.

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Nice continuing coverage by Infinonymous. Check out the wrap up here.

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Related personal note:

To the Boy Mayor: As you are aware, since you are no doubt among the literally tens of people that read this little public display of written drivel, I am currently an avid player of the Incarceration!: Home Edition game. From time to time there are away games. The last away game was played to benefit the Esplen section of Pittsburgh (for your benefit, see map here). We were told this was being done in preparation for the G20 Summit. I even got a nifty t-shirt that says so. But the Esplen part of the trip was missed by the whole media. What gives? Esplen is a perfect example of Pittsburgh stepping into the future and way from the past. I'm just sayin'.

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Further personal, though unrelated, note:

This week's picks: clev +13.5, nyg -7, nyj -2.5, ne-4, det +6.5, den +1.5

Last week 3-3, Season 5-7

Please feel free to jump on the gravy train. I don't wanna keep all of this sheer sports genius to myself. Just givin' back. It's what I do.

Leftovers Edition

Cleanin' up the scraps...

• G20: I can't wait for this all to be over. I'm still not sure why it's coming. " Our time to shine to the rest of the world, we're not all smoky and sooty, our economy turned around from the steel days, blah blah blah blah". Part of me thinks this is so much ado about nothing, kind of a cross between a Grateful Dead tour and the Y2K "it might be a mess!". However, lots of imported police, National Guard, and shiny new gear and training tells me probably not. I certainly hope the Boy Mayor and Dan the Man didn't screw the pooch by not saying "thanks but, no thanks". But, who's gonna pay for this hasn't been answered. The Police Chief in Scott Township certainly had the right idea. Probably best to keep your head down and stay out of town for a while.

• Racists, Competitors or Jerks?: Do you mean to tell me that a tennis player, a politician and an "entertainer" acting rudely in the same month is a signal of the the fall of Western Culture? Paaa-f'ng-leeez! Serena Williams? 2 words- John McEnroe. Two more- Jimmy Connors. 2 more- Ille Nastase. Hey folks, players have been yelling at and berating officials for years. Get a life. Rep. Joe Wilson- you think that was bad? I suggest you spend some time watching the Brits on C-SPAN some time. That was probably an "I'll do it if you do it too" thing. At the last minute, the other kids backed out and Lil' Joey got punk'd. Kanye West- Why all the hand-wringing and overthinking? Why can't it just be he's a boozed-up douchebag and leave it at that?

In other words....

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I went 2-4 in the football pool at work last week. You're welcome to all those who decided to bet the kiddo's college fund. Let's help that mortgage this week. This weeks picks: New Orleans +1/2, Washington -10, San Francisco -1 1/2, Minnesota -10, Tennessee -7, Cleveland +3.
Guaranteed picks. Maybe not winners, but picks just the same.

Mental Masturbation Edition

Mental Masturbation v: The act of engaging in impractical/nonproductive mental exercise/thinkings/writings through which a practitioner only comforts oneself mentally. Such acts don't lead to any constructive results what so ever in the real world; some might even imagine oneself being transformed into superman, or simply the opposite sex, etc. In short, it's just bs/crap. ( by lionhead May 25, 2007 at Urban Dictionary)

Where did the summer go? Kids are back to school, Steelers are starting, Pens are getting ready, Pirates finishing up (oops, bad example. That coulda been Memorial Day).

I was roaming around my local Iggle the other day (god, seems like I spend a lotta time there) and they had Halloween candy out already! They get earlier every year with these holidays. I guess that means Easter must be right around the corner.

Overheard at the bus stop..."for a hundred bucks you'd think this belt would hold my pants up!"

Because I am a documented sports genius, I'll try to post my weekly picks in the work football pool (just in case you wanna grow that college fund for junior). Week 1 picks:

Cincinnati -4, New England -10 1/2, San Diego -9, Seattle -7.5, Dallas -5.5, Carolina +1

Season record: ( 0-0 ). That's perfect y'all! Or, .500. Either way, I won't see either again this season.