Today's WTF

Note: Apologies go out to those who have stopped by to be witness to this public display of attempted humor and self-embarassment I like to call IKNAB. If you have been here over the last few days (and why are you back? Didn't test real well in school, eh brighteyes?) you have noticed that it was difficult (hell, damned impossible) to open most of the links. Apparently you need more than 10 fingers and a keyboard to pull this whole posting thing off. (F'ing cut and paste!). Hopefully things are fixed now and are running as near to mediocre as possible.

From the San Antonio Express-News...

Ready?....

Wait for it...

Here it Comes...

Ta Da!!

Texas strip club sues 14-year-old exotic dancer

A strip club that hired a 14-year-old as an exotic dancer is now suing the girl, saying the seventh-grader swindled them into breaking state law. The San Antonio teen allegedly exposed her breasts while working at Cheetah Club in Corpus Christi, a violation of state law.

Who da thunk it? A 14 year old stripper that doesn't know she can't expose her breasts? Damned 7th grade swindlers!

Alan Yaffe, the club’s attorney, said the club didn’t know the girl was a minor. “She came (into the club) with 6-inch stiletto heels and a miniskirt and looked just like a model from a Miss America’s contest,” Yaffe said.

Nuthin says Miss America like 6" stilettos and a Hannah Montana Skirt.

Police say Leslie Campbell, 48, kidnapped the teenager in San Antonio in March, took her to Corpus Christi, sexually assaulted her over the course of a week, gave her a false identification card and forced her to strip at the club. Police say the girl, who has not been identified, escaped from Campbell’s home and has been reunited with her parents in San Antonio. Campbell was arrested and remains in Nueces County Jail on charges of aggravated sexual assault and aggravated kidnapping.

Nothing funny about that. If he's guilty (innocent til proven ya know), then a state prison in Texas is just the place for him.

The suit seeks unspecified damages from Campbell, the girl and her parents, as well as a declaration from a judge that it did not intend to hire a minor. “We’re the victims here,” Yaffe said.

Can't agree more there Mr. Lawyer-man. The kid shoulda known better than to go and get herself all kidnapped. Parents should have brought her up better. And what about the parents? What were they thinking? I'm no lawyer, but it seems to that the parents should have had a reasonable expectation that something like this would happen if they had children. Damned irresponsible, that's what they are!

Authorities also arrested Jeffery Shawn Martinez, a manager at the club, on charges of employment harmful to a minor and sexual performance of a child. He was released on bail. Martinez’s attorney, Fred Jimenez, said his client is not guilty. “The minor walked in there with a fake ID and presented herself to be 22 years old,” Jimenez said. “She looks very mature.”

Texas must be proud of these lawyers. And, please, don't be so hard on Jeffery. I'm sure the lights were low at the job interview. And she did present herself to be 22. And she does look mature. And , Jeffery, I'm sure she kept the crayons in the lines on the ID. No way you coulda known.

Texas Alcoholic Beverage Commission Sgt. John Mann disagreed. “I’ve seen this young lady’s picture, and I assure you she is a 14-year-old seventh-grader,” Mann said. “I personally think any reasonable and prudent person could tell you that is an underage girl.” Mann said he expects his agency to take legal action against the club.

Obviously, the reasonable and prudent folks in Texas are doing something other than managin' or lawyerin' in their strip clubs.